Contrary to popular belief, I'm not all positive.  I'm not all feel good, and I'm not one dimensional.  I'm potent because I allow space for my strengths and weaknesses.  I do not live in other people's limited perspectives.

I am a person of excellence, and I try my very best consistently.  But that doesn't make me perfect, and it doesn't make me immune from human frailty.  So I will not allow you to limit my right to be imperfect, and my right to know who I am - even when you don't.

In the past, well meaning friends have tried to limit me and tell me who they think I am.  Primarily painting me to be Miss Perfect because I'm ambitious, persistent, and accomplished.  And when I made mistakes or stepped outside of their comfortable limited views of me, they condemn my behavior either with thinly vieled caustic humor or outright accusation.  What made it difficult in identifying their projections was that their intention was well meaning.

But I had to balance out their supposed good intention "to help" with how I FELT, and I never feel good when others attempt to limit my humanity.

When I feel sad, angry, persecuted, victimized, betrayed, [fill in any negative emotion], then I don't want to have my humanity limited and expected to quickly "get over it" or expected not to react at all.  You don't have to listen to me.  I can certainly find another friend to lend an ear.  But you will also not control me.

How did I solve this dilemna?
1.  I listened to how I felt and how I reacted, not just the well meaning intention of the speaker.  But also how I feel or receive the message is just as important as the message.  Am I perfect?  No, so I do listen to valid suggestions.  But often the intention was mixed with their control issues so I took into consideration if this "friend" was attempting to control the situation or me.  As opposed to genuinely sharing healing advice about forgiveness, peace of mind, and maturity.  I'm really great at listening and respecting friends so I expect the same benefits in return.  
2. I limited my interaction, and in some cases discontinued the friendships, with these controlling people.  Because ultimately a controlling person will soak up all the compassion from you, and then condemn you when you attempt to extract some of that in return.

Ultimately, I'd rather preserve my self-respect which means accepting my good with my bad.  I am dimensional, and my real friends get that.

"I can Help more poor people if I’m Not one of them."

- Ruby's Daydreams

​#SelfEmpowerFirst #CommunityEmpowerSecond #Responsible
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"I’m genuinely suspicious of others who require me to have Less. I don’t care if it’s a jealous ‘loved’ one, or someone with low self-esteem. They don’t have my best interests in mind, and so I have to disregard them."

- Ruby's Daydreams
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"I find it difficult to work in teams because conformists are burdensome."

- Ruby's Daydreams

Surprisingly - I really enjoyed the film!  Disney's Moana turned out to be a great cartoon and story.  And I say that as someone with Polynesian and Melanesian heritage.

Prior to watching, I was bracing myself because I knew that this was a pacific story told by a non-pacific organization.  Usually when an outsider tells our story, I cringe because the artwork/narrative is dishonest and lacks integrity.

But I saw so many criticisms that I became curious.  Ironic - Lol!  Some complained that the story was too "mixed" accusing the writers of inappropriately mixing multiple polynesian and melanesian languages, clothing, mythology.  Some complained that there was not enough research done, and not enough insight sought after from the elders back home.  Others complained simply because outsiders told our islander story which was not for outsiders to tell.

So this is my take: 
I enjoyed the "mixed"ness of the script especially because the setting took place in ancient Oceania which means that our pacific cultures were likely unified in ancient times before we spread out to populate the rest of the pacific.  It makes sense that we would recognize various island cultures in this crafted tale  of ancient times.

I also read that Disney's team did spend some time in the pacific.  And when I saw the film for myself, I saw that they did do their research as far as capturing the various garments, language, and physical features of the characters.  Did they do enough research to create a documentary?  Probably not.  But did they do enough research to craft an Oceania cartoon, something intended to entertain families and children?  I feel they did.

As far as their outsiderness disqualifying their position to tell our story?  Gosh I'm torn on the answer.  On one hand, I don't like outsiders telling an insider's story - especially what feels like "my" story as a pasifika woman.  Since I am indigenous to the Samoan, Tongan, Fijian islands, I have a painful relationship with Colonization and Exploitation of the Pacific.  When a non-pacific person/group tells my pacific story and makes a profit, then it does trigger that stinging sensation of colonization in the pacific because it feels like an outsider is reaching into my territory and extracting something valuable without permission or compensation.

On the other hand, I am first generation American living in the diaspora and I constantly yearn for islander representation in the media and in pop culture because we lack islander representation.  Since I was not raised in the islands, and was not raised in a society where islanders are the dominant majority, I fight the issue of Invisibility.  The invisibility of my islander identity and culture.  So when I do see parts of our islander culture represented, even if not done perfectly, then I feel excited.  I can't help it.  I'm excited for visibilty of our islander culture even if that means an outsider will share our story because it starts the conversation, the conversation about the pacific.

Visibility creates a sense of belonging.  And a sense of belonging inspires participation.  As an immigrant, visibility is vital for me while I continue to live and create something for myself in this new land.

That's what Disney's Moana means to me.  It's a reminder of our talent to pioneer new things.  After all, weren't our islander ancestors navigators?  And in that sense, I have all the pioneering tools and dna to succeed here.

Happy Holidays All, I posed my unique cartoon character in a holiday setting.  That's right!  I invented him.

The little round guy is Maka from my original children's story, "Maka and the Impossible," which is a parable of ambition.  My little rock leaves his village and goes on an impossible journey.  Reflecting his creator (me), he has an ISLANDER FLAVOR to his style.

To read about his adventures, please check out my book :)

Hardcopy: https://www.amazon.com/Maka-Impossible-Ruby-FaAgau/dp/1257795236

Ebook: http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/ruby-faagau/maka-and-the-impossible/ebook/product-17355034.html 

#polynesianstory #polynesianchildrenstory #polynesianwriter